And so it begins...

what better way to start off a blog than explain the name of mine?

ok maybe i can think of a few ways that would be better but you are just going to have to accept this.

Beggar's Heart is a new song by Bethany Dillon (that's right i decided to the typical blog route and steal some song lyrics). the song is all about brokeness. something we
all go through, but more so it's about how God changes us through it. it may sound sad but i think the lyrics are so real:

When you build it feels like you tear me apart. When you heal it always leaves a scar, and even when you fill you leave me with a beggar's heart.

God loves me enough to never let me stay where i am at but whenever he asks me to change it ussually is painful in some way, only because i am human and i like to cling to what i know now rather than embrace the greatness that he has for me ahead (and he has not dissapointed yet). when he builds me up it feels like he's tearing me apart...at the time. later i can always look back and praise God for that time. i look back on times in the past and i am so grateful for them.

hence the scar that is left. i am always healed but i always remember those times. i bet you can look back at scars you got when you were little and you can still tell the story of how you got them. i think it's the same way for when God changes me. the scar that is left is the stories and experiences i can now share and that God so often uses for his glory. hallelujah.

and everytime he fill's me...i want more. i can never have enough of what he so willingly gives me. my heart begs for more.

i hope i always am left with a beggar's heart.